Bittersweet Dreams
by Qwerts
Summary: In which Merlin has no excuse and "just trust me" isn't working. A very different way the conversation in 2x10 could have gone


**A/N: So, I was re-watching _Sweet Dreams_ (2x10) when it struck me how convenient it was for Merlin that Gwen believed him when he said Arthur was enchanted and just went right on ahead and kissed Arthur and everything worked out. Obviously my next step was to write a story in which things were a little more difficult for our favorite warlock and Gwen required a little more convincing. Now, it's probably a little OOC seeing as Canon!Gwen trusted Merlin and whatnot, but hopefully not so much so that it takes away from the story. I did my best to keep it as in character as possible. On to the fic!**

 **Disclaimer: IDOM**

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Things were not going the way Merlin had planned. Not that he planned for trouble, but things could certainly have been going a whole lot _better._ Arthur was in a fight to the death (and _losing_ , might he add), over the Lady Vivian, a woman that, without the aid of a spell, he otherwise would feel no attraction towards. To top it all off (because it just always had to be the worst case scenario, didn't it?) the said fight endangered a very fragile peace and threatened war for Camelot and her would-be allies.

No, things were not going well at all. And Gwen, the _only possible solution,_ was choosing _now_ to show off her stubborn side. Perfect.

"I assure you, Arthur does not love me," she was arguing currently, conviction plain on her face.

"He's enchanted!" Merlin all but begged, too aware of his time trickling away. Every second he spent here arguing with Gwen was another second Arthur faced a rather undignified death. Unfortunately for him, that was the wrong thing to say.

"Yes, with the Lady Vivian, I can see that!" The maid snapped, patience wearing thin and her pain evident now as well.

"No, he's _literally_ enchanted!" The warlock argued, waving his hands in frustration. "As in magic and potions and spells and such!"

Gwen stilled at that, hesitant.

"How do you know?"

 _Why does it always bloody matter how I know?_ Merlin thought, exasperated.

"Gwen, please, just _trust me,"_ Merlin begged. Still the maid paused. Then she sighed, suddenly looking very tired.

"I know you liked the idea of me and Arthur, Merlin. I liked it too. But let's face it, it's hardly realistic. It never would have worked. An enchantment would certainly be a convenient explanation, but his feelings seemed very real when-

"I'm not making this up because it's easier for _me,"_ Merlin snapped. If not for his mounting worry, he almost would've been offended. "I'm saying it because it's true."

"And how do you know?" Gwen challenged again. When Merlin hesitated, unease written across his face, she carried on. "Exactly. I'm sorry Merlin, but I'm done. He's clearly not interested in me, and I'm not interested in self-inflicted pain. Goodbye."

At this, she turned away, clearly believing the conversation to be over.

"No, Gwen! GWEN!" He was definitely outright begging now, and not trying to hide it. " _Please,_ you have to believe me! If you don't, Arthur will die!"

Gwen's shoulders sagged, and Merlin felt a fleeting pang of guilt. He knew she'd been through a lot in the past day or so. But he also knew she was strong, and right now, Arthur needed that.

"What would I have to do?" She finally asked softly. "Assuming I believe you, what could I do?"

"Go kiss him. It'll break the spell," Merlin promised, relieved he finally seemed to be getting through. Just as fast as the feeling came, it left when Gwen turned back to face him, clearly not happy with the plan.

"He would have my head, Merlin."

"You know Arthur, he wouldn't do something like that," Merlin argued.

"The man back at that castle is a stranger to me," Gwen snapped. " _Arthur_ never would have intentionally stood me up or hurt me."

"He didn't mean to, he's enchanted!" Merlin groaned. This conversation was going in circles.

"Yes, and that's a very convenient explanation, isn't it?" Gwen had her arms crossed now, and her eyes were set in a way that did not lend to any possibility of persuasion. Merlin wrung his hands in frustration and worry. His imaginary clock was running out of time, and he could practically feel the seconds draining away.

 _Well, there's always one way to prove it to her…_ The thought took Merlin by surprise, and he froze. Revealing himself was not often an option he even considered.

 _It's Gwen,_ he thought, his eyes flitting over to hers uneasily. _I can trust Gwen. Then again, I never would have pegged her to be so stubborn when Arthur's life was on the line… but if Arthur dies, I have no reason to stay and continue living in secrecy anyway._ Perhaps there was a lie he could have thought up, but Merlin had the feeling nothing short of the truth would sway her. Besides, he didn't have time to flounder for a suitable explanation.

"Okay… okay," He muttered, mind made up. Then, louder:

"Alright. If I tell you- no, _show_ you- how I know, will you help me?"

"I suppose," Gwen said slowly. "But I don't know how you would manage that."

"I know because it's sort of my specialty," Merlin said weakly. Finding honest words was hard.

"What, looking after Arthur?"

"Yeah, that too, but I meant detecting enchantments. Or recognizing them, I suppose I should say," Merlin stammered. He clasped his hands behind his back to stop them from shaking; suddenly, talking seemed very difficult.

"How would you recognize enchantments?" Gwen frowned. "I know you live with Gaius, but that still seems like a bit of a stretch."

"I- um…" Merlin mumbled. Holding out one hand he said softly, " _accendant_ *." On cue, a small flame fluttered to life above his palm. It quivered with the shaking of his hand. It was a small act, but an incriminating one, and that made it seem huge.

"Oh my lord," Gwen gasped, both hands flying up to cover her mouth. "You're- Merlin- oh my lord."

"Yeah," Merlin swallowed hard, and let the flame splutter out, reminding himself why he was here. "So trust me, I know what I'm talking about when I say Arthur's not himself. And I'm positive only you can help him." The last bit was not strictly true- he was, after all, trusting the interpretation of the word of a somewhat questionable dragon- but he was sort of running out of options.

"Arthur. Arthur! He's actually enchanted!" Gwen gasped, eyes widening in horror. "I'm such an idiot!" Without another word, she ran out the door, on her way to the palace. The moment she was gone, Merlin collapsed into a chair, feeling drained. Arthur was safe for now. Himself, maybe not so much, but he'd have to worry about that later.

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"Knock, knock?" Gwen called, poking her head around the door. In response, Merlin nearly dropped the medicine he'd been mixing.

"Gwen!" He greeted, his voice an octave too high. "I was just heading out, maybe later-"

"Merlin, please," Gwen begged. "I know you've been avoiding me. Can we please just talk?"

"I really am busy, so-" Merlin babbled, lying through his teeth. Odd how in some ways lying was the easiest and hardest thing to do.

"Busy with magic?" Gwen asked boldly, not willing to be dismissed this time. It had been two weeks, and there was no way she was going to let him put this off forever.

"Shh!" Merlin hissed, spinning around, face pale. "Would you be quiet?! Someone might hear you!"

"The corridor's empty," Gwen assured him, letting herself into Gaius' chambers and dropping the basket of laundry she was carrying against her hip to the floor. However, she didn't move from in front of the door and instead leaned back against the wooden surface, effectively blocking the warlock's exit. He could probably move her with his powers, but she correctly assumed he wouldn't dare use his magic on her as a friend and out of fear of what she now knew.

Sensing there was no way out of the conversation this time, Merlin sat down heavily on the bench with a sigh.

"Okay," he conceded. "I'm sorry. Go ahead." If he was going to die, might as well get it out of the way.

Gwen, on the other hand, was astounded. It was easy enough to see Merlin expected to be handed in, a fact that stunned her.

"Merlin, you know I trust you, right?" Gwen began cautiously. Merlin was silent, waiting for her to continue.

"It doesn't matter to me that you're magical," she said, studying him closely. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to hide it, because I cannot imagine the loneliness of that. But I can understand why you did. And I'll respect that and keep your secret, too."

Merlin's head snapped up and he stared at Gwen, wide-eyes. "You will?"

"Did you honestly expect me to turn you in?" Gwen asked. She wasn't mad by the implication; in fact, she could feel her heart ache for her friend. The fact he expected such a detail about himself to turn even his closest friends against him- Merlin, a man who saw the best in everyone- truly drove home the weight of the burden he carried.

"Camelot is not the safest place for people like me," Merlin admitted, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't want to put you in any danger."

"It's my choice, Merlin," Gwen said softly, leaving the door to walk over to the warlock. "And you may have something to fear _in_ Camelot, but not from me. In fact, I want to thank you."

" _Thank me?_ " Merlin echoed in disbelief.

"I feel much better knowing someone is looking out for Arthur," the maid confessed. "You're a good man, Merlin. Knowing you're magic doesn't change my opinion of you. I just wanted to let you know that."

"Thank you," Merlin managed, eyes looking suspiciously glassy. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear that."

"I can imagine," Gwen said sympathetically. "Come here." Pulling the warlock to his feet, Gwen enveloped Merlin in a tight hug.

It was at that moment Arthur opened the door.

"Hey, Merlin, I need-" He froze when he saw the scene in front of him. "All these damn feelings around here these days," he grumbled, quickly backing out. "Never mind!"

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*ignite

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 **There you have it. If you have any thoughts, please don't shy away from that little review button :) Much love,**

 **Qwerty**


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